Black Rose

I had a recurrent dream about falling from great heights, in which I was facing my death and witnessing the past days of my life. flash before me. I never knew what it meant but I always found myself gripping the sheets, contemplating defeat, soon to fall off my bed. I awoke. I awake. I am awakened by the harsh reality of the sunny side of the truth. I stare at the glass in front of me, reflecting to myself- 'this is where i should be...' though I'm not. And that's the gospel, in which I sing. 

I wake up alone, body drenched in a cold sweat, dream state fading, sharp pains throbbing.. another sleepless night, slept. and some mornings, it's hard to breathe. I am drowning in these thoughts... someone rescue me. Can you not hear my pleas? I'm begging for someone to show me the best way to keep abreast. I'm in dyer need of a good night's rest. I am exhausted.

Nightmares become reality, stepping in my way of dreams. Shattering my foresight, impairing my vision. Some mornings it's too blurry to see, filling my life with uncertainty. crashing and burning, where is my security? I love in fear of loosing. I hold on in fear of being forgotten. I care wanting to be cared for. I cry awaiting for someone to hear. I am black rose. a broken- lost- little girl laying in tears of painful screams. a woman just born, giving birth to a beast... that feeds off memories that haunt my restless soul as I try to sleep. And this is the gospel in which I sing. The hymn in which I hum. 

I am exhausted.