Dead End

I like it when the rain beats beautifully against my window... late at night or early in the sun's rising, as I think of you. It feels good to know that we shared something beyond comparable and quite rare. I'd be lying to myself if I said I didn't miss you or miss all the times we shared. And it hurts to know that all we have are memories to look back on, instead of making new ones... we are left with the old. And I don't know what's better...

I feel as though forgetting is the only solution, though my mind feels other wise. My memory fiends for you and what was once there. At times I feel pathetic for still caring or for wanting to hit you up just to say "hey" in an attempt to subtly imply that I miss you so much. I don't know which way to go... all the signs are pointing directly back to you, so moving on- isn't an option. 

I'm hoping this is just a phase or a test of our connection and chemistry which still lives. Maybe this is one of those phases or tests that determine what's real and what isn't. Or this is prepping us for something beyond what we both see. Or I could just be holding on to you and to these memories that haunt me... because I don't want to say goodbye. I've never been good at saying bye and come to think of it, I've never said Bye. I've either erased them from my life or they have left me leaving no trace of where I could find them. 

So since erasing you from my life is impossible and since you're not willing to leave me without a trace... I guess I'll search for a different solution. So instead of running, or erasing... I'll take a different approach, a more grown point of you and I'll just deal accordingly. 

Perhaps you'll fade into my skies and be an unforgettable thought.