Thoughts on Love

True love. Is it really necessary?

Tact and common sense tell us to pass over it in silence,

like a scandal in Life's highest circles.

Perfectly good children are born without its help.

It couldn't populate the planet in a million years,

it comes along so rarely.

Let the people who never find true love

keep saying that there's no such thing.

Their faith will make it easier for them to live and die.

-wislawa szymborska "true love"

I often lie awake some nights thinking of the trajectory my life has taken. Am I wrong to have put Love after my well-being? Have I become entirely too consumed with Love and all the joy it brings into lives, especially mine? I'm starting to believe that I'm cursed with a Love so potent, that it's hard for others to handle... But I'm not apologizing for it. I made a decision and followed through with it... I wasn't going to go with life knowing I gave my all and my all wasn't enough. I knew it was far more than necessary- far more than ever received. I had to come out on top. And that's what I did. So why is it am I being left to think that it's too much? Is it truly possible to Love "too much"? Isn't the human race aiming to be loved and give love... eventually? Why am I to be in the wrong when I do what others are afraid to do: Love unconditionally. In my eyes, Love and Hate do not stem from the same tree... they're polar opposites. To Love someone and than suddenly Hate them, is- at least to my knowledge, completely idiotic. If you suddenly hate the person you claimed to Love, than it was never Love... rather a strong like which became a big disappointment.

I loved and guessed at you, you construed me- And loved me for what might or might not be –

If Loving You is the very element my soul needs to breathe... and I am inhaling all you be and all you'll become. Many times, I will ask myself if what I feel for You is Love... or is it all in my mind of wondrous dreams, I go through Pros & Con's only to find the Pros weigh out the Con's. Finally, Learning to Accept that I can't stand not being with you, the second Your presence is absent... I rummage through hours passed, Words exchanged, Looks given and Lips kissed trying to figure out a way to get back to you. It's an instant- lasting gratification standing, in the light of Love, a light so bright that even I find myself timid to it's shine. Your eyes hold promises you dare not speak- afraid of falling short (I assume), But I Can See. Holding on to Words as if My Life depended on each Vowel and Consonant Spoken...

not only do I T r u s t, but I B e l i e v e.

So much to Love, So Much to You I Love, So Much to Us I Cherish, So Much to Our History I Recall, So Much to Our Growth I Prosper, So Much to this Life We've Created I Smile.

This Is Love.

At this hour when hearts, deep in their hiding places,

Have begun to hope once more- Be with me, My tormenter, my love, be near me.

 Often we get lost in translation... torn between reality and our surrounding, and in return we create conflict with no actually solution. Caught between missing self and missing the other self that is now apart of you. (missing the person you were before you were in a relationship... but at the same time missing the person you are with. it's a catch 22, either way you go you're missing something.) Forgetting what life was like when it was solely You, rather than You and Him or You and Her... I'm taking a few days to separate my fears from reality.